sad I’ve given so much of me to gf and feel like im a huge burden on her sad i probably am saddd sad why am i so sad I’ve gone home crying almost every day this week I’ve cried so many times this summer / this year / since i turned 13 /////// i wish i were a ba d dream to someone in a much happier state. sad i can’t look at people in the eye when they ask me how i am. “im fine! im fine. im fine? im fine. im fine” we all know this not to b the case and shake hands with the elephant in the room and hope he dies soon

sad about girlfriend sad about friends sad about having no future sad about being dumb sad about family sad about body sad about futility sad about grieving constantly sad about doubting own mental health sad about needing help sad about never getting help sad about looking at the people i love and not knowing how to get them to love me sad ill hurt them sad im never going to be enough sad knowing im not enough im half of me at any given moment im the No Goals No Brains No Opinions No Happiness wreck of a person. sad about being another mess to sweep under the rug. i wonder if i have past selves and wonder ho w many actually lived past 25 sad i won’t sad that people will be sad if i die sad that they probably won’t

I really need help I think???!? I don’t know??? How am I supposed to live another 50 years like this holy shit how am I supposed to live ANOTJER YEAR OF CONSTANTLY FEELING LKKE everyone woul be so much better off if I vanished !!! What the fuck I didn’t sign up for life I never wanted this!!!

I JUSt want to cry forever. Why did I have to be ME why do I have to live as this person I could be anyone else in the world and it’d be an improvement
I think everyone hates or pities me I hope they do because I want to know how useless I am so I can just die already I think there’s a cancer in my goddamn soul I’m so sad

I can’t even lie to myself about not being garbage because I am I’m so EMBARRASSED that I’m alive like holy shit I have a) no talent no substance no real life opinions no goals no accomplishments I’m so shit I’m such utter shit. I wish I could kill myself I’m such a bitter fat ugly meanspirited prejudiced piece of shit